If you want to grow as an individual, many people would agree that it is vital that you learn how to live life on your own terms. Meanwhile, you need to maintain positive relationships with others without playing victim to their wants and needs. In “Pulling Your Own Strings: Dynamic Techniques for Dealing with Other People and Living Your Life As You Choose,” author Dr. Wayne Dyer lays out a step-by-step guide for changing your attitudes about how and why victimization occurs. He gives a lot of examples from real life of how to improve your actions to become a leader instead of a victim. This kind of practical advice is what has made Dr. Dyer a household name and a best-selling author.

The steps include taking responsibility for your reaction to adversity and standing up to manipulative family members. You will learn how to make tough choices right now to improve your future. Coping skills also come into play. Some parts of life will never be entirely positive, but the idea is that you can spin those negatives into assets. These tips and strategies help you to get the best out of yourself and others despite any barriers and hurdles.

This book makes it clear that the right attitude is the key: Self-respect is one of the biggest takeaways. Dr. Dyer stresses that you do not need an excuse to be your authentic self. Thus, you are allowed to choose not to make yourself uncomfortable on others’ behalves. People around you will always try to pull your strings for you, he explains. If you let others direct you, you will often end up in places that you would not choose to be. As outlined in this guide, taking back those strings is a process of self-discipline and drive.

As in much of the author’s self-help writing, there is a good deal of repetition in this work. However, many people need to read the same advice in a few different ways before it will stick. Some fans of Dr. Dyer have read this book multiple times and learned something new on each occasion. The advice in the book helps readers learn to deal with life’s many diverse demands in a positive manner. Dr. Dyer is confident that by taking full control of your life, you can shape your future. Even if some parts do not apply to your current situation, this reading can lead to significant personal growth and self-actualization.